Another reason I like Mr. Ecclestone is that he has very little patience with teams, people or management when they have taken to flogging the sport he so arduously built. This week, according to our well-respected and oft vitriolic friends at Planet-F1, Mr. Ecclestone has called for a emergency meeting to include all teams but Ferrari, McLaren and Renault as they have lodged themselves sideways in the throat of litigation leaving the entire nasty espionage episode festering like an open wound. Now one may ask, “gee, why is Bernie messing around with this if the FIA has already pummeled the McLaren horse until it twitches giving a sense of life and are now pursuing the beheading of another team for having the former teams playbook?”. That would be a good question to ask yourself if you were one of the F1 fans getting your jollies on other sub-prime F1 web sites but the elitist frequenters of F1B already know the answer.
The Answer for those less fortunate as to not frequent F1B: While the FIA do a yeoman’s job on many things, they have stepped knee-deep in a vat of cow dung on this whole espionage issue and mind-police mandate. While the FIA are keen to lodge a complaint or seek someone’s appearance before the holy court of motorsport, they often set the direction and then move with a punishing lack of urgency. Bernie, or Mr. Ecclestone as I call him, doesn’t want to wait until December to find out just what the hell is going on with his sport and who the hell is stealing technical data from each other. In fact, this would be the uncle Bernie’s come-to-Jesus meeting in which he will probably scold all remaining teams that if they do this, there will not be a signature line at the bottom of the Concorde agreement for them or their pathetic team. He may even bring his baseball bat to wallop a few melons of those Paul Stoddy-type owners who feel their millions invested have earned they some mystical place as to speak out against the FIA and their handling of the espionage cases like some ancient sage with more street cred than they actually possess. Something akin to an ex-driver having dysentery of the mouth and explaining that past issues have not been handled consistently by the FIA without actually knowing all of the details OF those past incidents. Wait, seems another great-white-hope British driver just did that this week so ignore the pun. If you can. If not, you’ll notice the very reason you should have been cheering when Schumi punted his dopey arse off track in the late 90’s. Enough said. Perhaps the Hill Memorial Home for Half-Wits will be having their grand opening with Sir Jackie as the ribbon cutter and first resident while Max performs his Nurse Ratchet routine for all the foul-mouthed former drivers who feel obliged to spit venom at the FIA’s handling of any issue.
As for Mr. Ecclestone? How I would love to be a fly on that wall. I have a feeling the rest of the teams will leave with very little ambiguity about what should be done and not be done in F1 or if their 2008 car should include any McLaren technical details…well…actually maybe it should be Ferrari details on them. I assume if they have any objections, they will be asked to politely piss right off!