Using some of Negative Camber’s highest-tech communications devices, your Formula1Blog team has been busy these past, slow-news days huddled outside windows, acting nonchalant in public restrooms and “accidentally” bumping into some of the Formula 1 world’s most important people.
In each case, we hung around just long enough to determine what the different New Year’s resolutions for these folks was going to be. Here’s just a sampling of what we’ve found:
LEWIS HAMILTON: Resolves to be less self-critical in 2011.
JEAN TODT: Is going to get over his shyness and really make that presidency “his.”
FERNANDO ALONSO: Resolves not to wait even one race to show Felipe Massa who is No. 1 and who is No. 2.
FELIPE MASSA: Is not going to pull over, for anyone.
MARK WEBBER: Three words: No more bicycles.
VITALY PETROV: Learn English and maybe some French.
STEFANO DOMENICALI: Is going to consider, seriously, a career in politics.
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: Win another world title this year. Or maybe next. It’s all good, friends.
NICO ROSBERG: Resolves to employ a “food tester,” just in case Michael gets some ideas.
NICK HEIDFELD: Is going to come to terms with being a great second-place finisher.
TONY FERNANDES: Resolves to make the name Lotus his, not matter what.
SIR RICHARD BRANSON: Will be adding intergalatic flights to Russia to his intergalatic flight schedule.
HEIKKI KOVALAINEN: Resolves to score at least one point in 2011.
TIMO GLOCK: “I won’t be lured by Le Mans. I won’t be lured by Le Mans.”
BERNIE ECCLESTONE: He will find the thugs who beat him up.
MAX MOSLEY: Needs to send that cash payment to those nice boys in London.
SERGIO PEREZ and PASTOR MALDONADO: We won’t be the Hulk.
NICO HULKENBERG: Find replacement for Willi Weber.
WILLI WEBER: Find the “real” next Michael Schumacher. And stop taking Hulk’s calls.
SEBASTIAN VETTEL: Chase second world title. Replace single finger wag with double one. “Twice as annoying!”
* Note: No actual spying was engaged in for this piece, and no member of the F1B team has been anywhere near the homes or offices of F1-related personnel. As far as you know!