FIA denies two teams entry in 2016

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Apparently the FIA didn’t find the two applications for inclusion int he 2016 Formula 1 series very compelling as they have turned both down and now we will only have Haas F1 as the new team on the grid next year. Having Haas F1 is a great thing but missing an opportunity for two more teams is a bit of a damp squib.

“We can confirm that the FIA received two candidate Formula 1 team applications for vacant grid slots.

“We subsequently put these through our comprehensive diligence processes.

“Unfortunately none of the applicants were able to meet the FIA’s criteria for new teams despite being granted every opportunity of doing so, and we now consider this round of applications to be closed.”

The criteria must have included such things as:

  • War chest of cash
  • Pay drivers with cash falling out of their NOMEX suits
  • Nearly fully developed chassis ready to race in a few month’s time
  • Their own version of an Adrian Newey and a possible tag-along engine supply from VW
  • No driver’s named Pastor or Zolt
  • A staff with at least one female development ambassador named Carmen or some other alluring name
  • No more than 27% of their gear, computers, facilities or sundries acquired from the Caterham fire sale online
  • No driver with a penchant for changing helmet colors frequently or a lion tattoo
  • No drivers or employees known by authorities or others who may be handy with broken champagne flutes
  • Not in possession of a Ferrari technical manual or a frequent guest card from any clubs in Chelsea

There were other criteria, as AUTOSPORT relays, but I suspect at least one of the teams was capable of ticking those boxes. No, surely there was much more to it than that. If I were one of those teams, I may have even slipped Jean Todt and Charlie Whiting a Fin to keep things fair if you know what I mean.

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peter riva

A Fin? Which one? Botas or Kimi?

SamWah

A fin being a fiver, I’m guessing a Fin is 5,000,000.

Daniel Johnson

You forgot, “sign a driver from the short list to replace Kimi at Ferrari”

Paul KieferJr

You also forgot “A country whose politics are suspect yet still have more money than God.”

xorpheous

Todd, I can’t believe that they rejected your and Paul’s application. Perhaps they thought the FBC logo would look too much like the Martini livery.

Paul KieferJr

I tried to get in, but the University of Texas kinda object4ed to me using their logo. ;-)

Steve Calvert

Damn, did the LHN want their cut, too?

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