Frantic F1 ~ 2010 wish list

Here are 10 things that I hope will happen in 2010. They probably won’t.

As the 2010 season gets closer and closer, there are many talking points in store… But, me being me, here are 10 of the (desirable) stories, which are less likely to appear on F1B this year.

10. Valencia is an exciting race.

If it rains then this might happen. But, short of a crashfest, I have little to no hope that the Valencian Grand Prix this year will be any more exciting than the last two. Which is to say no passing and maybe the odd drive through penalty to talk about.

9. Flavio Briatore returns to the pitwall.

If this happens I would love it. Even better if it’s at Stefan GP; Grace and Todd have already remarked how we hope this team becomes a home for the sacked and disgraced in F1. We need a real villain of a team and what better way than if Flav comes back to the paddock, perhaps taking charge in time for the race in Singapore. And then what if one of the cars crashes at turn 13 just after the other pitted for its only stop?! It might not work as well as before though, with fuel stops banned and all…

8. Lotus F1 gives the team back to Classic team Lotus.

That way the whole “is it really Lotus, or not?” debate goes away. And Classic team Lotus doesn’t have to pay a penny (or dime) for it.

7. Bernie Ecclestone decides to finally sort out a race in the USA.

Honestly I’m a little perplexed by Bernie. He has always wanted, but struggled to establish F1 in the USA. But then he refuses to seemingly sort out a deal for anywhere in the large land. While it was at Indy, either he slagged it off or F1dragged its own name through the gutter – see 2002,5. On top of that, he has said a few times now that USF1 will not make it. What gives, Mr E? Seriously? While we know USF1 isn’t happening exactly as planned, why keep slamming it? Wouldn’t it be in his interests to help them? After all, he seems pretty eager to get Stephan GP on the grid. So, come on, Bernie, give them a hand! Don’t take out your frustration over failing to sell F1 to the US as well as you wanted on USF1. Really…

6. Max Mosley is ejected from the F1 paddock.

While Todt seems to be getting on with running the FIA fairly quietly, Max on the other hand has been going to the papers to explain past motives every now and then. Even if some people think he still has a lot of behind-the-scenes influence, I really think the fact it no longer says “FIA president” on his desk could eventually send him mad. By about Monaco I can see him trying to run in and gate crash a FOTA meeting, declaring himself still in charge and announcing that all teams are banned from the sport. Naturally, after this a couple of large security guards will escort Mr Mosley out of the paddock and leave him on the corner blubbering something about it being better in his day.

5. Drivers’ girlfriends are banned from pit garages and F1 world feeds.

This one may be a bit more realistic now Nicole is no longer going to turn up and go all bouncy bouncy every time Lewis is in the car. In a world of corporate sponsorship I’m surprised, given the amount of coverage she was getting, that no one thought to slap a Vodafone sticker on her forehead .(Cruelly you could justify that by saying no one wanted to be associated with her.) But now, maybe, just maybe, we can watch the action – rather than watching the pitcrew watching the action. The only exception to this is if John Button and Anthony Hamilton scrap it out.

4. Every car on the grid runs out of fuel in a race.

Not to get F1 into controversy or a farce, but it would just be interesting to see what would happen if all 26 (yes I’m counting all teams making the grid) were to coast to a halt with an empty tank, perhaps due to a total miscalculation on the fuel consumption. I’d just like to see what would happen. Would the win and points be awarded to the driver that coasted the furthest? Would they scrap the whole race? It would be a good test for Todt, put it that way.

3. No one mentions the war.

It’s going to happen. Let’s face it. Two Brits in one team, two Germans in the other. You know certain tabloids are going to constantly go for the Brit vs. German angle. I wouldn’t be surprised to read “Who do you think you are kidding Mr Schumacher?” somewhere this year. (For those unfamiliar with British comedy, go looking for “Dad’s Army”.) Of course, the great irony is everytime Lewis or Jenson wins or finishes ahead they will point out its a Great British victory – forgetting its still a German engine powering them in the back. And when Mercedes wins, Brackley in turn will be forgotten.

2. The Stewards are consistent.

Now I am really asking for miracles, I know. But we are in a new era with Todt so maybe, just maybe, we’ll see decisions being made that we can agree on. Now Todt is in charge, it may even be better to start from scratch and judge what’s done as a new chapter in F1 – maybe even a new book. So if anyone complains about a stewards’ decision and says “well in 1993…”, stop them right away! If they continue, slap them.

1. This F1 survey is the last one. And it’s acted upon.

I doubt this one the most. The chances anything we want will come out of these things is unlikely. (They gave us aggregate qualifying after one of these for goodness’ sake.) As already said, we want better access for the fans, more coverage, and ummm, technology. Not engine freezes etc. This is a crunch year for FOTA, too. If this survey isn’t put to good use, then they might as well split up. All through 2009 we heard how they were together for the good of F1 as a whole . They talked a good fight. With the Concorde agreement now sorted and rival series threats gone, they have no excuse to not actually act on what they said. Lets just hope it was more than just talk.

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