Petrov makes sure he has the fewest English fans possible


Well, Vitaly Petrov may have just gained me as a fan, but in the process he may have lost every English fan he had. (So, does that mean he’s down three or four total?)

It’s thanks to his participation the Formula 1 “The Inside Line” feature. Petrov has dropped a few terrific answers, true to his reputation of speaking his mind — for good or ill. Let’s just get right to it, shall we?

Here’s where he loses English fans:

Q: If you had to stay in one place for the rest of your life, where would it be?
Another difficult question. I obviously love Russia – the forests and the cities. It’s my home and I’m very proud to come from Russia. But sometimes it’s good to get some hot sun. Spain’s great and actually I love England too. Except the rubbish weather!

I’m not saying it isn’t true, I’m just saying he maybe ought to have not said it. (But is Russian weather better?)

Here’s where he gets me as a fan (but loses Stephen Colbert, for those counting such things):

Q: What animal best reflects your personality?
I’m not too sure which animal best reflects my personality but I like almost all animals. Dogs and cats obviously, but if I had a big house I’d like to have a lion or a tiger, or maybe a bear but that might be a bit too dangerous. As I said, I like pretty much all animals but not snakes. I hate snakes. I really hate snakes. I even hate talking about snakes!

I absolutely love his realization that having a bear “might be” “a bit” too dangerous. Not for sure, and not a lot dangerous. Maybe a little. A bit.

I think the wins in this piece continue:

Q: If you could banish one thing from your life – for the rest of your life – what would that be?

“But, he added, that sounds like it would take a lot of work.”

And here’s why I feel antagonistic toward “offiical” F1:

Q: What, or who, do you admire?
I admire a lot of cool sportsmen and athletes – Muhammad Ali, Bruce Lee, those sorts of guys. I can learn a lot from them. I also admire the drivers I’m competing against today. Anyone who I can learn something from is someone I admire.

There’s no follow up! What could he learn from “those sorts of guys.” What sorts of guys? Fighters? Guys who looked cool without their shirts? Guys known for iconic fighting poses?

And more:

Q: What’s your favourite smell?
Ha! Some perfume maybe – it depends what woman it is on! (laughs)

Gotcha, man.

I’m beginning to think we need a Vitaly Petrov reality TV show. Surely there’s a billionaire Russian oil tycoon who could make this happen.

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